![]() A good bottle of wine, a sunset, an arthouse film or Sunday’s bottomless brunch, are all more enjoyable when shared with someone. For Type Sevens, the best things in life are often made better by sharing them. The Enneagram also gives us clues about which combinations form complementary pairs like the X, X+1 pairs and the pairs within the Harmony triads.Having a true partner in crime can be an absolute delight-whether that’s a friend who is always up for an adventure or a partner who says ‘yes’ more often than ‘no’ to your wild suggestions. The Enneagram gives us clues about what’s important to your partner’s type and how to adapt your own type to get along with your partner. No combination or Enneagram types forms a perfect pair, and every relationship will have its ups and downs. Even when both are in their insecure states, the woman moves to Type 4 and the man moves to Type 5, again another X, X+1 combination. When the Type 8 man moves to integration, he behaves like a Type 2, which is one number higher than the Type 1 woman. As the Type 1 woman moves to integration her behaviors resemble the 7 which is one number lower than the Type 8 man. I suspect that the success of this combination may be related to the X, X+1 pairing. Even same-type pairs can be compatible, like two Type 9s, two Type 1s, or two Type 5s-birds of feather flock together!Īnother interesting pair I know is a Type 1 woman with a Type 8 man. Type 1s pair with Type 5s in either gender combination. Other romantic pairs I have frequently observed are the Type 4 woman with a Type 8 man, and the Type 8 woman with the Type 6 man. I developed a hypothesis for the biological reason why these combinations work well together-you can find details in Teamwork 9.0 chapter 7. It is a safe bet that if you are with someone who is a member of your Harmony Triad, you will get along well. I frequently see Type 1 women with Type 7 men Type 8 women with either Type 2 or Type 5 men and all combinations of Type 3, 6 and 9 men and women. I find that members of these triads often form compatible romantic partnerships as well. I find that members of these triads often coalesce in the workplace to form teams so much so that in chapter 7 of Teamwork 9.0 I call these groups the Work Team Triads. David Daniels, are triple combinations of Types 1-4-7, 2-5-8 and 3-6-9. If the Enneagram dynamic of the next higher type is one of the hardest for any type to access, then the X, X+1 combination forms a complementary pair that works well in romantic partnerships and occurs frequently in practice. In my monthly Enneagram Studies workshop, a Type 2 woman and Type 3 man couple as well as a Type 3 woman and Type 4 man couple attend frequently. ![]() I know examples of Type 8 women with Type 9 men, Type 9 women with Type 1 men, and so on. Our neighbors are a Type 7 (woman)-Type 8 (man) pair. My mother is Type 6, and my father is Type 7. Case in point, my wife is Type 5, and I am Type 6. I find that women of Type X seem to be attracted to men of Type X+1. I can’t help but notice that there appears to be a gender component associated with these pairs. ![]() In romantic relationships, I have found that these adjacent pairs also form compatible romantic partners. For instance, I am Type 6, and when I need to get people enthused about an idea or plan that I have, I work with a Type 7 who is great at helping me with that. To get unstuck, it is helpful to cooperate with someone whose type is the next number higher than you own. In other words, Type 1 gets stuck in Step 1, Type 2 gets stuck in Step 2, and so on. ![]() While using the Enneagram as a problem-solving tool as I describe in chapter 2 of Teamwork 9.0, I make the point that each type can get stuck in the respective step in problem solving. Here are some of my observations about Enneagram compatibility with romantic partners. The compatibility patterns persist whether at work or not. While I focus on using the Enneagram as a tool for change management and work team effectiveness, I can’t help but notice type compatibility spills over into our personal lives, among friends, family and acquaintances. Having practiced with the Enneagram for over 20 years, I have observed which Enneagram types are naturally attracted to one another and which work well together.
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